Don’t make them go out to the bar five times more often than necessary during a rush when they’re running on a skeleton crew because you wanted a latté but didn’t want to pay for it.Ĭappuccinos are made of one-third foam, one-third milk, and one-third espresso. Everyone behind that counter knew exactly what you were going to do when you ordered two shots in a gigantic cup of ice and would have happily given you the milk from the fridge. That milk is there so people can put it in their coffee in one- or two-ounce increments, not so you can fill up a 24-ounce cup and save yourself a dollar. You’re not as sly as you think, and the entire staff sees you walking over to the condiment bar and making your own iced latté with the creamer in the carafe. However, that’s not why your barista is pissed. We could go on and on about how putting hot espresso on ice shocks it, dilutes the flavor, and is just gross. I know this one has been the hot topic of debate for a while now. Hot water at a café comes in one temperature. Side note: If you’re ordering something not containing milk and want it extra hot, you’re even more of an asshole. Go to one closer to your destination and consume your beverage in a timely fashion - while it still tastes good. If you’re doing this because you’re traveling a distance before you drink it and you want it to stay hot, you get a double “fuck you.” There are coffeeshops everywhere. It makes it taste like shit and it ruins all the lovely nuances of your hand-crafted drink. When you ask for a drink to be made “extra hot,” you’re essentially asking your barista to scald the hell out of your beverage. Ask for your beverage to be made “extra hot.” So, again, what you’re really ordering is a caramel-vanilla latté. Starbucks macchiatos are all about the layering. Side note: Ordering a stirred caramel macchiato in a Starbucks is also a dick move. Using Starbucks terminology in a different coffeeshop is a lot like calling your new lover by your old lover’s name. What it really comes down to here is a respect thing. And most of them will even make it for you without feeling the need to correct you. Now, most baristas understand that when you order a “caramel macchiato,” what you really want is a caramel-vanilla latté. This is nothing like the macchiatos that come out of Starbucks. Go into a not Starbucks and order a “caramel macchiato.”Ī real macchiato is served in a very small espresso cup and is made up of espresso and the tiniest amount of foam and milk to mark the top of the espresso. Especially when it’s made just for you and you get to consume it.ĥ. Don’t you dare tell an artist that their work is not worth the four bucks you’re paying for it. Moreover, a lot of baristas take their craft very seriously. Listen, you’re probably smart enough to understand the barista at the register or behind the bar is probably not the one who decides prices. Make any comment about your beverage being overpriced. You want something they have all the tools to make and that’s awesome! 4. The truth is, most baristas don’t give a shit if you want eleven flavors in your decaf latté or you want a shot of espresso. Your ability to not put sugar in your drink doesn’t make you a hero, it just makes you someone that likes to drink their coffee like that. But if you get some superiority complex about it, you’re just an asshole. As does my dad, Clint Eastwood (guessing), and a lot of other fucking people. So you like Americanos or plain drip coffee. Act like you’re better than every/anyone for ordering a simple beverage.
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